the good moments

Day 109

I’m in my last full semester of classes for my M.S. in speech-language pathology (before a year of clinical placements) and am having more and more of those “Why am I doing this?” and ”Do I really want to be doing this for the rest of my life?” moments. These usually occur after bombing out on a neuro test or during a dust dry class on the ins and outs of bureaucracy, the intracacies of Medicare, and laws with names like PL 94-142 , or when I am struggling with finding the appropriate jargon to use while filling out a client report. Paperwork is the bane of my existence.

It’s times like those when my thoughts flirt with dropping out and moving to, oh, I don’t know. Somewhere in the South Pacific where no one cares about what the glossopharyngeal nerve innervates or who should get Medicaid benefits or if you’ve filled out your therapy summary with the correct terminology.  ’Course, since I tend to be inordinately practical (and very much in debt), those thoughts don’t last long. . .

On the top of my bookcase in my little studio apartment sits a picture from last semester, taken of us clinicians with the kiddos in our early literacy and language program. It’s a cute picture of our bright-eyed 4 and 5 year-olds, but to me it means a whole lot more than just that. Those kids were my first clients; they were the ones who taught me that I would love what I do. Like any children, they could be trantrum-y and snotty (both literally and figuratively), but when they “got” the concepts we worked so hard to teach them, when they threw their arms around me, when I saw their smiles and heard their belly giggles, I forgot about the downside of the job - the paperwork, the hard classes, the long-winded education laws. I just saw the kids.

I saw the good moments.

So, that picture is an encouragement to me. Yes, there is a monotonous side to the work, but what job doesn’t have that? I look at those faces beaming up at me, and I recall the Lord’s leading me. To Milwaukee. To this school. To this profession. And not just to a profession - to a minstry to people for the glory of God.

Phil 3:14 ”I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (NAS)

home

Day 110

This is what the view from my hometown of Kijabe, Kenya looks like as I write this entry (thanks to the webcam that updates minute-ly):

I always loved watching storms move across the valley - there’s a fierce beauty in the sheets of rain and forboding clouds, a magnificient interplay between land and sky. It was truly a blessing to have had this as an “ordinary” part of life.

See for yourself at: http://kijabe.org/cgi-bin/longocam.cgi

Onward.

Spiritual Vitamins for Believers, Part 9:

1. I am complete in Christ (Col. 2:10).
2. I am beloved of God (Col. 3:12; 2 Thess. 2:13).
3. I am disciplined by my Heavenly Father (Heb. 12:6-7).
4. I am part of that group that Christ is not ashamed to call His “brothers” and “friends” (Heb. 2:11; John 15:14-15).
5. I am a child of Abraham (Gal. 3:7).
6. I am Abraham’s seed (Gal. 3:29).
7. I enjoy the blessing of Abraham (Gal. 3:9).
8. I am a child of promise (Gal. 4:28,31).
9. I am a sheep in His flock (Luke 12:32; Heb. 13:20; 1 Pet. 2:25).

While brushing my teeth this morning . . .

Day 111

I noticed my feet. I glanced down, and there they were, as they have been for the past 26+ years, sitting (standing?) unassumingly at the end of my ankles. I stopped brushing and just stared at them staring back at me against their background of gray linoleum.

I usually don’t notice my feet - they are packaged in socks and shoes for most of the day and under my covers at night (or sticking out from the end of my blanket in the dark). To tell the truth, I only pay attention to them when they hurt, like last year when I had a bad bout of tendinitis in both of them at the same time. That was unpleasant.

But this morning they got noticed for no other reason than that they were there. They aren’t particularly good-looking feet, but as I considered them this morning with toothbrush in hand, I realized how amazing they are. They uncomplainingly carry me around campus at the rate of five miles a day. Ever since I started walking at the ripe old age of 22 months, it’s been these two feet that have transported me up and down mountains, along dirt paths and grassy fields and concrete sidewalks in cities and towns and little villages around the world. They have hiked, skipped, run, walked, and stumbled. They have been scratched, bruised, strained, blistered, calloused, impaled with thorns, and one of my ten toes has been broken. Yet they faithfully carry on. Pun very much intended.

In case you can’t tell, today I am very grateful for my feet. Thank you, Lord, for your wonderful design. 

Onward.

Spiritual Vitamins for Believers, Part 8:

1. I have been called with a holy calling (2 Tim. 1:9).
2. I am a partaker of the high, heavenly calling (Phil. 3:14; Heb. 3:1).
3. I have been called out of darkness into His marvelous light (1 Pet. 2:9).
4. God foreknew me (Rom. 8:29; 1 Pet. 1:2).
5. God predestined me to be conformed to Christ’s image (Rom. 8:29; Eph. 1:5,11).
6. I have already been glorified according to God’s mind and purpose (Rom. 8:30).
7. I am eternally secure in God’s love (Rom. 8:38-39).
8. I am chosen in Christ (Eph. 1:4; Col. 3:12; 1 Thess. 1:4; 1 Pet. 2:9; Rev. 17:14).
9. I am complete in Christ (Col. 2:10).

“As Abraham Lincoln said, ‘If you are racist, I will attack you with the North.’”

Day 112

No, he really didn’t say that. Today’s Office (mis)quote by the venerable Mr. Scott is in honor of the 145th anniversary of the Battle of Glorieta Pass, which took place on 28 March 1862 in New Mexico.

Who knew the Civil War stretched all the way to New Mexico? Not me - you learn something new every day.

A total of 4300 troops fought at Glorieta Pass; the losses included 38 Union dead, 36 Confederate dead, and a combined 134 wounded, according to history.com. The Yanks emerged victorious over the invading Rebels, who were driven from New Mexico for good in June of that year.

I never knew about the Battle of Glorieta Pass until today. Still, I’m thankful for those men who fought and died for our freedom in this small battle in a great war.

Onward.

Spiritual Vitamins for Believers, Part 7:

1. Christ is in me (John 14:20; Col. 1:27; Rom. 8:10; 1 John 4:4).6
2. The Spirit of God dwells (John 6:56; Gal. 2:20; 1 John 3:24; 4:12-16).
3. My “earthen vessel” houses a great Treasure (2 Cor. 4:7).
4. My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19).
5. I have been blessed with the gift and pledge of the Holy Spirit (2 Cor. 1:22; Gal. 4:6; Eph. 1:13-14; 1 Thess. 4:8; Tit. 3:6; 1 John 3:24; 4:13).
6. I have an anointing from the Holy One (1 John 2:20,27).
7. I am one of the “called” of Jesus Christ (Rom. 1:6; 8:28-30; Jude 1; Rev. 17:14).
8. I have been called unto the fellowship of God’s Son (1 Cor. 1:9).
9. I have been called unto eternal glory (1 Pet. 5:10).

appropriate ordinariness

Day 113

I’ve don’t think I’ve ever been the best at anything I’ve ever done. Not the best student, not the best actress, not the best poet, not the best clinician, not anybody’s best friend. I have done all right in school (going on 19 years of schooling now - I’m about ready to be done), I love acting and writing, I enjoy working with people in clinic, I have several very close friends. Still, I really don’t stand out in a crowd. I’m pretty normal. And you know what? I like that. I have a niche in ordinariness.

The danger of being ordinary though, is that one is easily fooled into wallowing in mediocrity. I can put my life on cruise control and just slide along. That’s not good. I can glorify God in my appropriate ordinariness. I will not bring him glory when I am merely mediocre.

Onward.

Spiritual Vitamins for Believers, Part 6:

1. I am to the praise of His glory (Eph. 1:6,12).
2. I am light in the Lord (Eph. 5:8).
3. I am a child of light (Eph. 5:8; 1 Thess. 5:5).
4. I am a “peculiar person,” even God’s special, purchased possession (Tit. 2:14; 1 Pet.2:9).
5. I am a priest who can offer spiritual sacrifices (Heb. 13:15-16; 1 Pet. 2:5,9; Rev. 1:6; 5:10;20:6).
6. I am a king who will reign (Rev. 1:6; 5:10; 20:6).
7. I am privileged to have fellowship with the Father and with the Son (1 John 1:3).
8. I dwell in Christ (John 6:56; 1 John 3:24; 4:13,15,16).
9. Christ dwells in me (John 6:56; Gal. 2:20; 1 John 3:24; 4:12-16).
10. I am in Christ (John 14:20; 2 Cor. 5:17).

sweet sweet summertime

Day 114

I love it - we’re barely into spring, and God decides to plunk a couple days of summer down for us. Yesterday was beautiful. Today’s even better. Tomorrow, we’re getting rain and a quick cool-down. But I don’t care.

Right now it’s sunny. It’s 66 degrees at 9 AM. It’s no-jacket weather. It’s a gift from “the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow”(James 1:7). He is good.

Life is good.

———–

Spiritual Vitamins for Believers, Part 5:

1. I am rich because of Christ (2 Cor. 8:9; Rev. 2:9).
2. I am blessed with every spiritual blessing (Eph. 1:3).
3. I have obtained an inheritance (Eph. 1:11,14; Heb. 1:14; 9:15; 1 Pet. 1:4).
4. I have been appointed to obtain salvation (1 Thess. 5:9; Heb. 1:14).
5. I am His inheritance (Eph. 1:18).
6. I am a partaker of His promise in Christ by the gospel (Eph. 3:6).
7. I am a new creature (creation) in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17; Eph. 2:10; 4:24; Col. 3:10).
8. I have been renewed by the Holy Spirit (Tit. 3:5).
9. I am accepted and highly favored in the Beloved One (Eph. 1:6; cf. Matt. 3:17).
10. I have been seated in heavenly places with Christ (Eph. 2:6).

appropriate smallness

Day 115

Feeling small is a good thing. I wish I recognized more often that I am merely “a hairy little biped on a speck of cosmic dust”. A speaker I heard at a conference described us that way, and it stuck with me as an excellent description of what humans are. It is humbling. I have a hard time feeling proud when I have a correct perspective of me: little, insignificant me.

And to think that the God who created this universe of which I am such a minuscule part cares about me - my head can’t understand that. My words fall flat.

Ways to feel small:

1.Take a look at some galaxies (photographed by the Hubble Telescope). No these aren’t stars - these are galaxies. Makes our little Milky Way seem small . . . and there are billions of galaxies. For more amazing pictures, do a Google image search for “galaxies”. It’s quite stunning.

2. Climb a mountain.

3. Watch a sunset.

4. Watch a sunset on a mountain.

5. Stand at the edge of the ocean. I recommend the Indian Ocean off the coast of Kenya, but then, I’m just biased.

6. Watch a lightning storm.

7. Read this:

Isaiah 40:12-31 (NAS) Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand, And marked off the heavens by the span, And calculated the dust of the earth by the measure, And weighed the mountains in a balance And the hills in a pair of scales? . . . ¹⁵ Behold, the nations are like a drop from a bucket, And are regarded as a speck of dust on the scales; Behold, He lifts up the islands like fine dust. . . ¹⁷ All the nations are as nothing before Him, They are regarded by Him as less than nothing and meaningless. ¹⁸ To whom then will you liken God? Or what likeness will you compare with Him? . . .²¹ Do you not know? Have you not heard? Has it not been declared to you from the beginning? Have you not understood from the foundations of the earth? ²² It is He who sits above the circle of the earth, And its inhabitants are like grasshoppers, Who stretches out the heavens like a curtain And spreads them out like a tent to dwell in. . . .²⁵ “To whom then will you liken Me That I would be his equal?” says the Holy One. ²⁶ Lift up your eyes on high And see who has created these stars, The One who leads forth their host by number, He calls them all by name; Because of the greatness of His might and the strength of His power, Not one of them is missing.

There’s an estimated 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 stars in the universe, according to NASA. And our God calls them ALL by name.

Wow.

Thank you, Lord.

narrowing it down

Day 116

He calls up the info desk looking for a master’s thesis. Unsure of the title. Not certain how to spell author’s name. But it has something to do with a semiconductor.

“Couldn’t you just do a keyword search for ’semiconductor’ in the catalog?”

“Sure I can, but I’m just letting you know, sir, there’ll be a lot of results.”

“That’s OK.”

I dutifully type in “semiconductor”.

“Sir, there are 977 results for ’semiconductor’ in our catalog.”

“Well, at least we narrowed it down.” He sounds genuinely pleased.

In my mind, I’m laughing. Yes, yes we did, sir. After all, we started with 1.4 million books and have ended up with a mere thousand. Needless to say, the conversation eventually ends with the conclusion that the patron might need just a tad more information in order to find the thesis.

Such is a moment in “the wonderful world of reference”, as my boss calls it.

Onward.

Believers’ “Spiritual Vitamins”, Part 4

1. I am a son of God (Gal. 4:5-7).
2. I belong to Jesus Christ (Gal. 3:29; 5:24).
3. I have been adopted (Gal. 4:5; Rom. 8:15,23).
4. I am an heir of God and joint-heir with Christ (Rom. 8:17; Tit. 3:7).
5. I am an heir of the grace of life (1 Pet. 3:7).
6. All things are mine (1 Cor. 3:21-23).
7. I possess all things (2 Cor. 6:10).
8. I will inherit all things (Rev. 21:7).
9. I am enriched by Christ in everything (1 Cor. 1:5; 2 Cor. 9:11).
10. I am a fellow heir (Eph. 3:6).

“Video confirms cow eating chicken”

Day 117

Yes, somewhere in India this is taking place. So, if you ate the cow’s beef, what would that taste like? (The carnivorous cow is most likely safe from such a fate, considering the country in which it resides.)

Still, it could give a whole new meaning to “tastes like chicken”. . .

Onward.

Believers’ “Spiritual Vitamins” Part 3:

1. I am redeemed through His blood (1 Pet. 1:18,19; Eph. 1:7; Col. 1:14).
2. I am redeemed from the curse of the law (Gal. 3:13).
3. I am redeemed from all lawlessness (Titus 2:14).
4. I am bought with a price (1 Cor. 6:20; 7:23).
5. I am delivered from so great a death (2 Cor. 1:10).
6. I have been delivered from this present evil world or age (Gal. 1:4).
7. I have been delivered from the power of darkness (Col. 1:13).
8. I have been delivered from the wrath to come (1 Thess. 1:10).
9. I will not come into condemnation or judgment (John 5:24; Rom. 8:1).
10. I am a child of God (John 1:12; Rom. 8:16; Gal. 3:26; 1 John 3:1,2).

I Heart UNLV!

Day 118

I’m not big into basketball, college or otherwise - I’ll go to a Bucks game and enjoy it thoroughly, but I don’t follow the sport like I do baseball or football. This is in spite of the fact that I attend basketball-crazed Marquette.

Then March Madness rolls around and it all changes. I find myself rooting as if my life depended on it for teams like Virginia Commonwealth and Long Beach State. It has nothing to do with brackets - it’s all about the underdog. Like George Mason last year. Like UNLV tomorrow. Unfortunately, not like Marquette. We lost in the first round this year. Again.

The same thing happens with the World Cup - last summer I scheduled my breaks at work for times when the games were coming down to the wire so I could go upstairs and catch the last few minutes on the big screen. “Let’s go Trinidad and Tobago!” “Let’s go Angola!” Only once every four years am I this into soccer, at least until all the underdogs are eliminated. I watch exclusively for the upset. France and Italy in the final? Snooze. Unless you like France or Italy, of course.

Sometimes I have to break my rules and cheer for good ol’ number one. Grandpa’s got me rooting for Kansas, his alma mater. But if they meet the Runnin’ Rebels or the Butler Bulldogs, I’m definitely going to be torn.

Onward.

Ten more “spiritual vitamins”. These taste great!

1. My sins have been taken away (John 1:29; Heb. 9:26; 1 John 3:5).
2. My sins have been completely purged (Heb. 1:3).
3. My sins will never be remembered by God (Heb. 8:12; 10:17).
4. I have been washed (1 Cor. 6:11; Tit. 3:5; Rev. 1:5).
5. I will walk with Christ in white (Rev. 3:4-5).
6. I have been healed by His wounds (1 Pet. 2:24).
7. I have been forgiven all trespasses (Col. 2:13; 1 John 2:12).
8. I have been fully justified (Rom. 4:5; 8:30; 1 Cor. 6:11; Gal. 2:16; Tit. 3:7).
9. I am reconciled to God (2 Cor. 5:18-19; Col. 1:20).
10. I am made nigh by the blood of Christ (Eph. 2:13).

“borderline studying”

Day 119

This phrase was inadvertently coined by my co-studier late last night as we pored over our notes for an 8 AM fluency disorder test. She meant to say “borderline stuttering”, one of the stages in developmental stuttering, but it came out a little wrong.

Here is the official definition of this new term from Katie’s Inexhaustive Dictionary of the English Language:

bor-der-line stud-y-ing v. 1. the act of studying while watching the NCAA basketball tournament (and anything else on television), instant messaging with friends, or listening to Sean Hannity rail against liberals. 2. the act of studying when one is so exhausted from one’s extraordinarily long day that one reads the same sentence out loud five times and it still confuses one. 3. any studying done when one’s full attention is not on the topic in need of being studied.

Example: “Man, I really did bad on that test. Must’ve been from all my borderline studying.”

Onward.

There’s a great collection of “spiritual vitamins” out there compiled by George Zeller that is entitled “215 Things That Are True of Me Now That I Am Saved.” It’s incredibly encouraging for a believer in Christ to meditate on these truths, as they capture different nuances of our infinite salvation and Savior. They are exclusively for those who have trusted Christ alone for salvation; they are not true of unbelievers. Here are the first 10 (more to come):

1. My salvation is fully accomplished (John 19:30).
2. I have eternal life as a present possession (John 5:24; 6:47; 1 John 5:11-13).
3. I have Jesus Christ as my present possession (1 John 5:12).
4. I know the one, true God (John 17:3; 1 John 2:3; 5:20).
5. I have been saved by His grace (Eph. 2:1-10).
6. I have been justified by His grace (Tit. 3:7).
7. I have passed from death unto life (John 5:24; 1 John 3:14).
8. I have been made alive by God (Eph. 2:1,5; Col. 2:13).
9. I have been made fit for heaven (Col. 1:12).
10. I have the forgiveness of sins (Eph. 1:7; Col. 1:14).

vegetable ladies

Day 120

My professor from India was talking about his country and the people who go selling vegetables door-to-door (this anecdote was shared during our class on neuromuscular disorders - go figure). It reminded me of our vegetable ladies back home. They are some of the hardest-working people you’ll ever come across, making their living by carrying massive bags of potatoes and spinach and bananas and mangoes up and down the hills around our town for hours every Tuesday and Saturday. I haven’t thought about these ladies for a long time. Funny how a single mention of something can bring back such a flood of memories, especially of one veggie lady  - Cucu (pronounced “show-show”; it means “grandma” in Kikuyu) - the wizened tiny feisty woman who carried what seemed to be the biggest sack of produce. Mom could never turn her down - even if she’d already gotten everything on her list, she would buy some bananas or a head of lettuce - something. I think about Cucu and I can’t help but smile.

So thanks, Dr. Bhatnagar, for bringing up this happy memory in the midst of power point slides on ALS and myasthenia gravis.

Onward.

I had a prayer answered today.

The answer to my request was “no”.

Am I OK with that? Yes, I am. I asked specifically, God answered specifically. Since “no good thing will he withhold from those who walk uprightly”(Psalm 84:11 NAS), I can trust that what I requested was not a good thing for me at this time.

“For I know whate’er befall me, Jesus doeth all things well.”

My most favorite harbinger, herald, and/or precursor: baseball

Day 121

It’s spring tomorrow at 7:07 PM Central time, which brings up an interesting thought - why do Marquette and many other schools have spring break entirely in winter (i.e. last week)? Maybe it should be renamed “late winter break”. The terminology loses a little bit of it’s zing, but it’s also a little more accurate, especially since we in Wisconsin are predisposed to getting massive snow storms around that time.

At any rate, it’s spring tomorrow, and this baseball-starved girl is looking forward to 3 PM today when the Brewers take on the Cubs on Channel 41. Am I a big Brewers fan? Not really. Do I usually cheer on the Cubbies? No. But it’s baseball. Again. Finally. This can mean but one thing:

Did I mention that it’s SPRING tomorrow?

Onward.

2 Chron 16:9 For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that he may strongly support those whose heart is completely his. (NAS)

There it is in 2nd Chronicles - a great nugget of truth and encouragement. The Lord is here to “strongly support” us as we respond to him with our whole heart. That’s a great motivation to serve the Lord - we have nothing to lose and only his strong, faithful support to gain.

Once-in-a-lifetime

Day 122

Yesterday, two of my dear friends got engaged. It was an event that was very well planned out by the groom-to-be, starting with a mini-play acted out by believers from church with very fake British accents and crazy names. (I was Katie the Exuberant. Nah, that doesn’t fit at all . . .well . . . um . . . maybe a little . . . sometimes . . .)

Although we weren’t actually there for the moment when Jeff got down on one knee and asked Caroline to marry him (and she said “yes”), it was still an honor to have a small role in that once-in-a-lifetime event. These are the moments to treasure - for them, of course - but also for us as onlookers. In the impending marriage of believers who are walking with the Lord, we can catch a glimpse of the love that Christ has for his bride, the church. 

“And when in scenes of glory/We sing the new, new song/’Twill be the old, old story/That I have loved so long.”

In that wonderful forever, we’ll never stop singing of his incredible love for us.

Wake-up call (literally)

Day 123

7:56 AM. Saturday morning. Don’t hafta to work today, so I’m in lala land when suddenly,

THUNK.

I sit up, dazed, wondering what fell off my wall. Then I see my phone buzzing on the floor. The vibrating had knocked it off my desk. I scramble out from under my covers and lunge for it, reading “Unknown”  as the caller ID. “Unknown” means one thing - my family’s calling from Kenya. I flip the phone open and croak, “Hello?” only to hear slience. Bummer. I wait a few minutes until they leave a message then dial up voicemail.

“Hi, honey, this is Mom. Everything is OK.” Phone calls/messages from the other side of the world usually start this way, especially since we have gotten calls where everything hasn’t been ok. But this time, Mom just wants to chat. We haven’t in several weeks; these calls aren’t cheap.

I throw on some clothes, my hat, my gloves, my coat (still winter here), and head outside - why, you may ask? Cell phone reception is bad in my apartment, so whenever I go to make a longer phone call, it’s out to the alley behind my building. There I settle down on my porch steps and dial the phone card company, then dial the 15 digit phone number for the land line at home.

“You have 46 minutes of call time remaining.” followed by a busy signal. Mom must be on the land line with someone now. I call Dad’s cell. He’s in his office at school. He tries dialing the land line and confirms that it is still busy. He gives me Mom’s cell number. I try to memorize quickly, but I lose it - “0734 um um” - so I just keep calling the land line. Busy. Busy. Busy. I’m pacing and dialing. My dialing’s getting pretty good. If there was a Guiness Book record for the fastest dialer to Kenya, I’d so be in there. (Ha.) “0112542 . . .” I give up, go inside, read the paper. Twenty minutes later, I’m back out there again, and get through the first time. Mom offers to call me back.

Then, it’s 41 minutes of talking to my mom. We chat about a lot of different things, from gravely serious to hilariously funny. I love talking to her. I forget that I’m cold and that my fingers are getting stiffer by the minute. To me, it’s worth it. We say our goodbyes and “I love yous” halfway through the conversation in case we get cut off or her phone card runs out. 

And right at 41 minutes, Mom says, “Kate, I have 15 seconds left. 15 seconds.”

“OK, I love you, Mom. Bye.”

“Love you too, honey. Bye.”

Saying “I love you” seems so much more important when you are 8000 miles apart.

So that’s what a phone call from home is like in my world - what happened this morning was a pretty typical scenario. I’m so grateful that we can do this - it’s complicated and unpredictable sometimes, but it is such a blessing from the Lord. Just a few years ago, this wasn’t possible, or it was far more unpredictable.

Onward.

No more, my God, I boast no more
Of all the duties I have done;
I quit the hopes I held before,
To trust the merits of Thy Son

Chorus:

No more my God,
No more my God,
No more my God,
I boast no more.

Now, for the loss I bear His name,
What was my gain I count my loss;
My former pride I call my shame,
And nail my glory to His cross.

The best obedience of my hands
Dares not appear before Thy throne;
But faith can answer Thy demands,
By pleading what my Lord has done.

- Isaac Watts

“Thus says the LORD, ‘Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom , and let not the mighty man boast of his might , let not a rich man boast of his riches; but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the LORD who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things,’ declares the LORD.” Jeremiah 9:23-24 (NAS)

Enough said. I’m convicted. 

“One word, two syllables: Demarcation.”

Day 124

Yes, Office fans, that’s a Dwight Shrute-ism. Good thing he’s not an accountant . . . the Scranton branch would go under faster than you could say that “two” syllable word.

A couple of days ago, my dear brother Pete sent, via e-mail, two heart-warming pictures from where he works in the heart of Africa. Well, one is heart-warming, anyway.

That’s him holding the gun he and Chris (on the right) used to end the life of that 6-ish foot cobra. Lovely, eh? 

The next pic is just sweet. Little African children have stolen my heart for as long as I can remember.

Thanks for sharing, Pete.

And that makes me think of the song a friend of mine blogged the other day.

“Jesus loves the little children/All the children of the world/Red and yellow, black and white/They are precious in his sight/Jesus loves the little children of the world.”

The kids in Cambodia, Guatemela, Zimbabwe, Spain, and the little ones I work with here in downtown Milwaukee. They are all precious in the sight of God.

Matthew 19:14 “Jesus said, ‘Let the liitle children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.’” (NIV)

You say Mil-waukee, I say My-waukee

Day 125

Yesterday afternoon, I went to my pastor’s family’s house for a visit. While I was there, they got out a globe and I was showing their three kids (ages six and under) where I have lived in the world, finishing with, “And this is where we live now - Milwaukee.”

At which juncture, two and a half year old Hannah grabs the globe and starts spinning. Pointing at a spot in Southeast Asia, she says “My-waukee.” Another spin. Somewhere in the Mid-Atlantic. “Your-waukee.” And a final spin for good measure. Finger on North Africa. “Ab’s-waukee”(in reference to her sister Abby).

Needless to say, I cracked up. That ranks right up there with Hannah’s brother John stating that his dad took a plane ride to “El Silverdor”. I’m guessing that’s somewhere near the Gold Coast in Chicago.

Onward.

“Sometimes when life seems gentle and blessings flood my way,
I turn my gaze away from You and soon forget to pray.
But when the sky grows darker and courage turns to fear,
My anxious voice cries upward with words you long to hear.

Chorus:

Lord, I need You when the sea of life is calm.
O Lord, I need You when the wind is blowing strong.
Whether trials come or cease, keep me always on my knees.
Lord, I need You. Lord I need You.

Lord, help me to remember I’m weak but You are strong.
I cannot sing apart from You, for Lord You are my song.
Although I’m prone to wander and boast in all I do;
Lord, keep my eyes turned upward so I depend on You.”

This hymn by Ron Hamilton is a tremendous reminder that I need the Lord all the time, not just when I feel  like I need him. I am dependent on him for every heartbeat, every breath, every thought. And what peace I have knowing that he is there to provide for all my needs, both great and small. 

Pi Day

Day 126

Yes, it is, so happy that.

I work two part-time jobs, as indicated by my two timecards. The fact that both places of employment are located in the same building is extremely convenient: I just switch timecards in and out all day long. My upstairs job is mundane and predictable - I go through the tax returns of private foundations in Wisconsin and extract information pertinent to non-profit organizations looking for funding.

Ok, you can wake up now.

My downstairs job can be a little more random (not during spring break, per say, but during certain times of the semester, well . . . ).  When I work at the info desk on the first floor, my duties consist mainly of answering directional and research questions. These can range anywhere from “Can you help me find this article?” to ”Do you have any Bibles?” to “How much is everything in the US worth?” to “Do you know where I can buy hemp-flavored cigarettes?” (Yes, those were actual questions.) I also am capable of helping with basic technical issues - paper jams in particular - and of course, answering the phone. 

“Raynor Library Information Desk.” Yawn.

My former roommate works at the University of Louisville in a really cool office. She gets to answer the phone like this (around fifteen times a day):

“Department of Endocrinology and Metabolism.”

You understand my jealousy.

Onward. 

1 John 3:1 “Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!”

We aren’t born into this world children of God, as many false teachers love to preach - we are born separated from him by the greatest of chasms, and only through faith in his Son’s death in our place and resurrection is that gap closed.  Then, not only are we saved from hell for all eternity; we also have the incomprehensible privilege of becoming his children.

The response to this truth should not be pride, like the little kid who boasts, “My dad is bigger than your dad.” Instead, the fact that the God who holds the universe in his hand loves me lavishly enough to call me his child should be intensely humbling as I consider who I am before the Holy One.

I’m a sinner, a rebel, a former enemy. And due entirely to the merits of Jesus Christ, I’m a child of God.

brain-ly contemplations

Day 127

The weird thing about studying neuroscience (even at the basic level I have in the few classes I’ve taken on the subject) is the idea that your brain is actually considering itself. As you look at pictures of the eyeballs and the nerves that run from them to the vision center at the back of your brain, the process of sight is taking place in your head. As you discuss Broca’s and Wernicke’s areas in a study group, these language parts of the brain are hard at work along with your motor cortex and auditory system, as well as many other cognitive components, enabling you to describe the actions they are carrying out at that very instant.

It’s strange and fascinating. When we dissected the brain as a class down in the gross anatomy lab surrounded by cadavers in blue plastic bags, it seemed surreal. As I cradled that grayish mass of tissue in my hand, I was amazed that first of all, I was holding someone’s brain, and secondly, that this person, whoever they were, had sorted out problems, talked, laughed, cried, seen, heard, felt, and lived a life, all of it presided over by this dense formaldehyde-soaked wonder that my classmates and I were about to cut to pieces in the name of science.

My brain, contemplating a brain. Truly amazing.

Onward.

God sings. There’s something to think on - like a daddy singing to his little child, ”He will rejoice over you with gladness, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” (Zeph 3:17 NKJ).

Hold that image for a second. It’s a beautiful one.

“break”

Day 128 

Yes, spring break week is, in fact oh-good-now-I-can-work-40-hours-to-make-money-and-catch-up-on-the-several-hundred-pages-of-reading-I-have-put-off-during-the-first-half-of-the-semester-when-I-was-doing-a-zillion-other-things week. I don’t mind it really - in fact, I’d rather be doing what I’m doing this week than take time off to go on a vacation. I can get a jump on some of the second half of semester responsibilities this way. It’s a more relaxed pace and as long as I can get a good night sleep, I’ll feel refreshed. Besides, I’ll be taking off 2.5 weeks from school and work in a mere 128 days . . . I can’t wait!

Onward.

Yesterday, we sang in church again . . . 5 of us this time, and another one of my favorites, emphasizing a believer’s position in Christ.

“Before the throne of God above/I have a strong and perfect plea/A great high priest whose name is Love/Who ever lives and pleads for me./My name is graven on his hands/My name is written on his heart/I know that while in heaven he stands/No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair/And tells me of my guilt within/Upward I look and see him there/Who made an end of all my sin/Because the sinless Savior died/My sinful soul is counted free/For God the just is satisfied/To look on him and pardon me.

Behold him there, the Risen Lamb/My perfect, spotless righteousness/The great unchangeable I AM/The King of glory and of grace/One with himself I cannot die/My soul is purchased by his blood/My life is hid with Christ on high/With Christ my Savior and my God.”

I love this song because of it’s correct perspective on both me as a sinful human being and Christ as the sinless One who died in my place. He alone is my righteousness.

shifting

Day 129 

It’s 6:25 pm and it’s still light out. Ah yes, Daylight Saving Time, as all you who did remember to “spring ahead” one hour will know, has arrived. Actually, daylight is not saved. We do not gain an hour of light. We merely shift that hour of light from the morning to the evening. And this shifting is ever so pleasant - a herald of spring and of warmth after a very-cold-at-times-very-snowy-at-others winter. Despite “losing” an hour of sleep, this has got to be one of my favorite days of the year. ‘Course the fact that I managed to get in a two hour nap and a nice long walk helped to make this a rather enjoyable day with or without the shift.

Onward.

2 Corinthians 5:9 “Therefore, we have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to him.” (NAS)

My mom made a cross stitch of this verse that has hung on the walls of our homes on both sides of the world for as long as I can remember. It is a very convicting verse. I often come to the realization that my ambition in a particular circumstance is not to please him. More often than not, it is to get ahead, to look good in front of others, to glorify myself. But Paul’s ambition, his aim, was to please the Lord.

There’s the other point: he wasn’t trying to please people, to earn the favor of the world. He wanted to please the One before whom he would stand one day to give an account.

What greater goal is there?

monolinguality

Day 130 

I love language. I love listening to people speak in languages I can’t understand. I have a degree in linguistics. I’m studying to be a speech-language pathologist. I’ve studied Latin, Swahili, Greek (for three weeks . . . yeah, that didn’t go so well), Hebrew, Arabic, Kikuyu, and recently have begun dabbling in Spanish. Despite all this study, all the hours of vocab memorization, grammar practice, stilted conversations, and even learning the entirety of Dr. Seuss’ Hop on Pop in Arabic (which by the way, doesn’t flow as nicely as it does in the original), I have a confession to make.

How many languages do I speak fluently?

One. This one. English. I am monolingual.

Sure, I can have a simple conversation in my “best” second language, Swahili . . . but as I wrote in a message to my sister this morning: “Kiswahili yangu ni mgonjwa. Sana.” Which means “my Swahili is quite ill”. At least I think that’s what it means. It’s been a good eleven years since I took a Swahili class, nearly eight since I lived in Kenya. No wonder my Swahili is sickly.

I’d love to be bilingual someday, to seamlessly switch from language to language like my friend in high school who would talk on the phone, her words flowing from Swahili to English to Kikuyu and back again. But for now, just studying the inner mechanisms of language will have to do.

The study of linguistics goes back to the Tower of Babel, or shortly thereafter. God saw man’s incredible pride as they built the Tower to reach to heaven and ”to make for [themselves] a name” (Genesis 11:4), and he went down and confused their language, scattering them across the earth. Before that time, there was no need for the study of languages, of phonemes, morphemes, syntax, semantics, and linguistic theory. There was just language, singular. You understood me, I understood you. I wonder how long it took after Babel for someone to hold up something and say, “mkate”, and for someone else to get it and say, “Oh, you mean bread!” 

Voila! Linguistics began, and continues to this day. I love it.

Onward.

Difficult people are just that, difficult. And when I’m dealing with someone who puts me down, demeans me, or hurts me, the best thing to do, easpecially in the moment of hurt or confusion, is remember who I am in Christ. With the focus on him, and not on my circumstances, I am at peace. The Lord has accepted me in Jesus Christ, and it does not matter what anyone else says or does. I am forever loved. What amazing grace.

Ephesians 1:6 “He has made us accepted in the Beloved.”

Psalm 56:4  “In God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid. What can mere man do to me?”

VERY good

Day 131 

My friend had her appendix taken out on Monday. She made it to class this morning, walking somewhat gingerly and laughing about the fact that she actually wanted to come to our 8:00 class. (After the week she’s had, can’t say I blame her.) Being fascinated with all things medical, I peppered her with questions about the hospital, the pain meds, the operation. Despite living in the 21st century where surgery is often routine, I’m still in awe of the fact that we can cut a person open, take out or fix something, sew them back up, and in a reasonable amount of time, they heal.

I’ve probably been something of a nuisance when I’ve gone in for a procedure: an ECG, a cortisone shot, a tendon transfer, getting my wisdom teeth removed. I’m curious about everything and ask a lot of questions. Some may misconstrue my queries as nervousness, but in the past, I haven’t really been that nervous. I watch it all and just want to know - I want to understand what the numbers mean, what’s going on in this body of mine, what the drugs from the IV are going to do. For a very long time, I wanted to be a doctor. Sometimes I read anatomy & physiology books for fun.  During breaks from school in Kenya, I went several times to the hospital “theatre” to observe operations. Eventually I got past my squeamishness (including an embarassing near-fainting episode during a cleft-palate repair), and reveled in the opportunity to learn, watch, and of course, ask questions galore.

My interest in the inner workings of the human body goes beyond mere curiosity, though. As I consider the intricacies and  ingenuity of the different systems that (usually) work so seamlessly together, I cannot help but worship their Creator. I know that our bodies are not mere accidents of evolution, but carefully and lovingly designed works of art.  Study sessions involving the basal ganglia, the middle ear, or the larynx can become worship sessions as I enjoy the One who knit me together.

After God created the world, the stars, the plants, and the animals, Genesis tells us that he saw that “it was good”. But after he created humans, male and female, he saw that “it was very good.”

Amen, Lord. I agree.

Apparently, it’s now double M, double R

Day 132 

Yesterday I got my first royalty check from iUniverse for my book, Made for Eternity: Reflections on Time and Timelessness. A whopping $187 and change. I wanted to frame it, but, well, I have loans to pay. There is something special about getting paid, however small the amount, for something you’ve written.

The wonder of the ”wow, I’m opening up my first royalty check” moment was tempered by humor in the fact that they mis-spelled my last name. To the publisher, I am Katie Mmorrison. Ah, well. Katie Mmorrison is a published author and Katie Mmorrison is a paid author. She’s got the check to prove it.

Onward.

Last night, Pastor preached on Revelation 13 and the Antichrist. It’s not a pleasant thing to contemplate, and my heart hurts as I think of the billions of people who will follow this false messiah to eternal hell. This is true. This will happen - the Bible says it. At risk of sounding like a doomsday preacher, the end is near. Life is short, “a blip on the radar screen”, to quote Chris Rice. Is your eternity settled? What’s that? You hope you’ll go to heaven? You think you might? You’re a good person, so maybe . . .

Listen up. You’re playing games with your soul. You’re not good enough. I’m not. We are such dirty rotten sinners that even “our righteous acts are like filthy rags” (Isaiah 64:6). Think you can impress God with your filthiness?

Change your mind from thinking you can do something to merit God’s favor, trust only in Jesus Christ’s death for you and his resurrection. Then you can cut out the words like ”might” and “maybe” from your conversations about heaven, because “whoever believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). You can know for sure where you go the moment you die (which, by the way, could be today).

And believe me, this is something you want to know.

Dancing With the Squirrels

Day 133

I think they should film this new reality show on the MU campus. We have an overabundance of the little critters around here, the majority of whom have lost all sense of fear when it comes to humans. In fact, I have been chased by a squirrel. Twice. I’m serious. The rodents are taking over.

And yes, there was a time I danced with a squirrel. I came around a corner and there he was, blocking my way on the sidewalk. I took a step forward, he did too. I stepped back. He scurried up to me. I lunged forward (um . . . gracefully, of course - in light of the fact that we were dancing). He backed up but held his ground before creeping toward me again. This back and forth waltz continued until I reminded him that my mother had once made some of his distant cousins into a stew and I would be willing to do the same, at which point he turned and scampered off into the bushes so that I was able to continue on my way.

Check the above idea: I suggest we tape a “squirrel reduction show” which we could call Hunting for the Squirrels. Hmmm . . . I can hear the PETA cries already.

Onward.

“Be ye glad, oh be ye glad/Every debt that you ever had/Has been paid up in full by the grace of the Lord/Be ye glad, be ye glad, be ye glad.”

When Jesus died on the cross, he said, “It is finished.” The debt of my sins was paid in full. Nothing left for me to do for eternal salvation but trust that finished work.

Do I not have every reason to be glad?

A thing of beauty

Day  134

Do you ever stop and pay attention to your hands moving, your fingers typing? I do. It’s a pretty awesome thing to watch them dance (in my case a little slower than most) across the keyboard as I type this. They are moving just as I want them to, - ’til I hit a wrong key, of course.

Consider the intricacy of the process, the millions upon millions of neurons, the bones, the tendons, ligaments, muscles involved in hitting just one key. It’s routine, yet at the same time mind-bogglingly complex, wonderful to contemplate. As the different parts work together in perfect unison, it is a thing of beauty.

Yes, typing is beautiful. And so is brushing your teeth, tying your shoes, and making a sandwich.

Psalm 139:14 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know this full well.”

“catching up”

Day 135

Today I talked to my friend Amrah, who has just returned to southern California after a year in South Korea. We haven’t talked to each other that whole time. Funny how it is with people you haven’t talked to in a long while.  There is so much to say but you don’t know where to begin. Suddenly the present overwhelms and all you can think about is something mundane like ”I’m having macaroni and cheese for lunch.” 8 months ago, 2 months ago, last week - what happened back then? How do you squeeze all that living into a conversation? I feel so tongue-tied. Eventually stories come to mind, but there is a big empty space where you lived your life and they lived their life and you just can’t go and relive that part together. You really can’t “catch up”. 

That’s why I love my mom’s weekly emails from Kenya. She often writes about the details - Daniel’s practicing his trombone, Emily’s running out the door to a meeting, Noah’s washing the dishes and listening to his music really loud. Somehowly, those things bring me into my family’s life, they “catch me up” just a little, make me feel a part of their ordinary. I like that.

Onward.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 ”For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.”

That’s our memory verse at church this month. I have a future, I have a hope (here I use that word to express a ”confident expectation”, not a “wish” as it is often used today). Thanks to God, I know who I am, where I came from, why I am here, and where I’m going. That’s pretty awesome.

Oh, the places you’ll go!

Day 136

I’ve been thinking about names recently, names of towns in particular. Where I grew up in southeastern Pennsylvania, there was a distinct Biblical bent - Nazareth, Bethlehem, Zionsville, Emmaus, and of course, Philadelphia. And then there was Bath. Bath was a weird one - some people may think that those other towns are named oddly, but Bath always seemed extra strange to me. 

“Where do you live?”

“Oh, I live in Bath. Yeah, and I have the wrinkly toes to prove it.”

See what I mean?

In 1992, we moved to Kenya where the names Kijabe, Naivasha, Nakuru, Mombasa, Machakos, Limuru, and Nairobi became as familiar to me as New York and Los Angeles are to Americans.

But that was all small potatoes compared to where I live now - Wisconsin has some of the oddest names in the book (as far as English speakers are concerned) . . . Mukwonago? Oconomowoc? Wauwatosa? Ashwaubenon? Weyauwega?    Whew - I’m giving my spell-checker fits! For correct pronunciation of these and other Wisconsin tongue twisters: www.misspronouncer.com.

OK, I guess I should feel comfortable with names like these. After all, my first hometown in PA was . . . Catasauqua.

Onward.

Today Julie and I sang at church. It wasn’t perfect, but the Lord undertook in the situation (especially since we were singing a capella), and I just prayed that he would be honored and people would be encouraged by these words:

“How deep the Father’s love for us/How vast beyond all measure/That he should give his only Son/To make a wretch his treasure/How great the pain of searing loss/The Father turns his face away/As wounds which mar the Chosen One/Bring many sons to glory.

Behold the Man upon the cross/My sin upon his shoulders/Ashamed I hear my mocking voice/Call out among the scoffers/It was my sin that held him there/Until it was accomplished/His dying breath has brought me life/I know that it is finished.

I will not boast in anything/No gifts, no power, no wisdom/But I will boast in Jesus Christ/His death and resurrection/Why should I gain from his reward?/I cannot give an answer/But this I know with all my heart/His wounds have paid my ransom.”

Rich words. The richest truth.

“How did the baby get out?”

Day 137

Nothing shakes up a session with a five year old client like this question:

“How did the baby get out?”

So, there I am, with . . . hmm. Let’s call him Charlie. Working on pronouns. Subjective pronouns. You know, like he and she. We have Richard Scarry’s book What Do People Do All Day? (which I highly recommend - it’s one of my favorite books from my childhood) and are discussing “what he is doing” and “what she is doing”. Things are going well. Charlie is catching on. Then, we turn to the page with the little bunny who goes to  the hospital to have her tonsils out. While she is getting her tonsils out, her mommy has a baby! There’s a darling picture of Sister Bunny at Mommy Bunny’s bedside with Baby Bunny. Oh, so sweet. Then . . .

“How did the baby get out?”

(Pause) “Uh . . . (hoping I heard incorrectly) what?”

“How did the baby get out?”

“Well . . . (frantically wracking brain for correct response) um . . . the mommy came to the hospital and had the baby.”

“But how did the baby get out?”

“It was just . . . born . . . at the hospital. (One of the most cop-out-ly answers ever.) And now the little girl bunny has a new baby sister. Isn’t that so nice? (This part spoken with a very fast rate of speech as I turn the page.) Oh, Charlie, look! Some people are going on a train trip. What is he doing?”(Annnd we are back on track. No pun intended.)

Life’s an adventure. You just never know when a kid will try to get a biology lesson out of a pronoun drill.

Onward.

“Day by day and with each passing moment/Strength I find to meet my trials here/Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment/I’ve no cause for worry or for fear/He whose heart is kind beyond all measure/Gives unto each day what he deems best/ Lovingly, it’s part of pain and pleasure/Mingling toil with peace and rest.”

Lately (as in the past several months), the attribute of God that has been most sweet to me is his kindness. He is a kind God. He is kinder to me than I will ever be able to understand. When I face trials, I love to think that my kind Father is allowing them, and not some ogre in the sky who just wants to make me miserable. I can trust a God who is infinitely kind even when he sends heartache my way, because I know he knows what’s best for me.

I would not be able to trust a god who I thought might turn on me at any moment if I screwed up, or a god who is just up in heaven playing with mankind’s lives like they were some kind of cosmic joke. People who don’t know my Father often think he is like that. By his grace, I know better.

I know that he is kind.

My favorite word

Day 138

Dysdiadochokinesia: an inability to perform rapid, alternating movements (eg: saying pa-ta-ka quickly). I love this word - it takes a little practice to say, but it’s kinda onamonapeiatic (paradoxically, since if you do suffer from dysdiadochokinesia, saying the word itself might be difficult). Once you get it down, your tongue is flying all over the place. I guess that’s why I like it so much - 16 phonemes of fun. Um. Yes.

I am a nerd.

Onward.

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

This has been a tough week, a tiring week. I’m weary of school and the grind of the days. I’m burdened with thoughts of grades and clients and tests and money. And then I read this - “I will give you rest.” There are few sweeter promises I have found. Eternal rest, rest for today. There is always rest in my faithful Savior, no matter how hectic life can get.

I only wish I would remember that more.

You inconsinderate (myoclonic) jerk!

Day 139

The title is a play on a note left on my mom’s car once when she left too little room for the guy who parked next to her. “Inconsinderate” sort of took some of the sting out of it. Of course myoclonic jerks are very inconsiderate. They can occur frequently and very intrusively in people with brain disorders. In normal people, they occur just as you are falling asleep,relaxing, drifting off into dreamland. You feel like you are sliding, falling, and suddenly your body jerks/twitches/thrashes. Your heart goes into double quick time and you are awake all over again. Grrr. Mr. Brain, this is very irritating.

No one seems to be sure why it happens. One theory is that the brain thinks the body really is falling as you relax and needs to wake the muscles up so they can right the body. I like that idea - kinda fun. 

Onward.

Last night at church, we read through 2 Timothy. There was a smaller gathering than  usual due to weather, so we sat in an circle (oval) and read it through verse by verse.  Good times.

2 Timothy 2:1 You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.

Everything that follows hinges on this thought. It’s literally “be strengthened in the grace” - the only way we can do anything in our Christian life that will last for eternity is to do it relying on the grace - unmerited favor - of Jesus Christ. By resting in him, we can be strong and accomplish his will for our lives. On our own we have no strength; we may have the desire, but we need his power.